STATE OF THE CITY |
If things seem messy on the tableau of Las Vegas, it shouldn't be a surprise. In the news, growth, growth, growth; more and more of our politicians are fessing up to or getting busted for double dipping; more and more of our kids are dying in car crashes or failing on national school performance tests; and our homeless population is, well, homeless. Still. Comdex has 150,000 fewer attendees than in years prior. Football players are going to court to play ball. The union is pissed at homebuilders. If it's not one thing, it's another. So what's a troubled community to do? Call a traffic meeting. Department of Transportation officials are out and about, soliciting input from us, from you and us, frustrated travelers one and all, on bottlenecks. Particularly the one on the way to Henderson. So now's your chance to make a difference. Tell your traffic engineers what you think of U.S. 95, otherwise known as I515. If you miss the meetings, you can still submit via the "I515 Corridor Website Study" at I515study.com until December 5. Because lots of people participating is the solution. Or was that the problem? |
This Week's Best Use of Disgusting Genital Imagery to Insult a Boxing Judge
"Judge Glen Hamada tarnished his reputation and the beauty of this bout by scoring the bout 117-111 in favor of Roy, whose nuts he swings from like an effeminately giggling and uniformed schoolboy hanging from a Jungle Jim during recess. Keep in mind that Hamada scored Jones's total whitewash over James Toney 117-110, confirming that those strings sticking out of his teeth this past Saturday were Roy's pubic hairs and not the spinach he had for lunch."
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Maxboxing.com contributor Angel Rodriguez on last week's light heavyweight title fight at Mandalay Bay
A Little Traveling Music, Maestro, and Slip Us a Couple of Aces While You're At It
Why watch some lame-ass Super Bowl contest when you can opt for a bunch of guys staring, thinking, grunting, throat-clearing, scratching and occasionally proclaiming "two, please," before returning to staring, thinking, grunting, throat-clearing and scratching?
If that's enough to lure you away from the Biggest Sports Spectacle on the Planet, you'll welcome the news that NBC will broadcast the Travel Channel's World Poker Tour—featuring a climactic playoff between the champs of the first season's 13 tournaments—direct from what the hyperventilating, joint NBC/TTC press releases calls "the incomparable Bellagio." With its promotion to Peacock status, it will be dubbed The Travel Channel World Poker Tour Battle of Champions, where players will "meet head to head, card to card, chip to chip," vying for a six-figure cash prize.
For poker pooh-bahs, a wet-dream diversion from all those pigskin pile-ons. For the rest of America, probably no more than a half-time substitute while we wolf down pizza and Bud, then hit the head, capped by a royal flush.
Escapism, or a Brief History of Gettin' Out of Jail
When Nevada inmates aren't running the asylums, they're running from them. A look at recent history:
• On Friday, Antoine Jean, serving a 16-year sentence on attempted murder and robbery charges, left High Desert Prison near Indian Springs in a vendor's truck.
• Ronald "Shotgun" Garren, awaiting transfer to Nye County on murder, embezzlement and other charges, was captured last Wednesday at Terrible's casino, a day after Clark County Detention Center officials let him walk right out the front door.
• Earlier this month, a grand jury indicted Joseph Antonetti and five others for plotting to escape from the Clark County Detention Center. The crew smuggled two hacksaws, 12 hacksaw blades, 150 feet of rope and gloves into the lock-up.
• In August, Erica Valenzuela, serving a one- to four-year sentence for theft, burglary, forgery and possession of a controlled substance, escaped from the minimal security Jean Conservation Camp, the second escape from the camp in a two-week period.
• Also in August, Steven Barlow walked away from the Southern Nevada Correctional Center while on work-crew duty. He was serving a two- to five-year sentence for driving under the influence.
• State prison officials tracked down escapee Charles Bridgewater (12 to 36 months for auto theft and evading a police officer) walking toward Las Vegas in June after he bolted from the Ely Conservation Camp in June.
• Also in June, Steven Hall decamped from an honor camp in Winnemucca. He was serving 12 months to 48 months for receiving stolen property.
• Using tools from his wood-shop class, Anthony Tyler, arrested on possession of a stolen vehicle, burrowed out of Washoe County Jail in May.
County detention center officials note that of the 14 inmates accidentally released this year, 10 have been recaptured.
When I Snap My Fingers, You Will Approve the Consent Agenda With No More Questions About Fire Codes!
Real Items from this week's Las Vegas City Council agenda:
• Approval of a hypnotist license subject to the provisions of the planning and fire codes
• Approval of change of location for a hypnotist license.
• Approval of a new massage establishment and reflexology establishment subject to the provisions of the fire codes
• Approval of a new psychic art and science license subject to the provisions of the fire codes
• Approval of a change of location for a massage establishment subject to the provisions of the fire and planning codes
Bad Reporters! No Michael Jackson News For You!
A white paper sign with black lettering stood up the street from the CMX Sports and Entertainment studio: "Believe." No doubt that's what was on the minds of the 30-plus reporters and cameramen lining the sidewalk in front of the place where Michael Jackson is rumored to be filming. It was Tuesday, the day the news broke that his Neverland ranch had been raided by Santa Barbara Sheriff's Department and District Attorney's office. What to believe? That Michael's innocent? Guilty? That he's really here? That a press conference is coming up? Or how about believing that the guy leading the press conference really doesn't like the local press? That was especially easy to believe when Dean Delorean, the VP of CMX in charge of public relations, gave them a guilt trip. "You don't show up at our events when we have press events," he said. "I have written press releases and you guys never show up." And later, "If you guys would have come out for the golf tournament …" And that's about all he'd say. He confirmed that Jermaine, Joe and Mrs. Jackson were on the premises, but wouldn't say where they were working with Michael or whether he'd been there that day. But as he was talking, a silver stretch limo came and went. And came and went. We believe there was someone inside.