A year ago, almost to the day, Lynette Boggs sat across from me at a table at Kona Grill in Boca Park and said that once she finished her tenure as Clark County Commissioner she might want to become a pundit on Fox News Channel.
Why not? Boggs, a Republican, studied journalism at the University of Oregon. A former Miss America contestant as Miss Oregon 1989, she always exhibits poise (poise!) onstage and is a forceful, intelligent, biblically articulate speaker.
But those felony indictments, they can take the steam out of a political career. I have been wondering how Fox News would have treated Boggs’ tailspin if she were indeed part of the network’s broadcast lineup. I think Hannity & Colmes would be a good place to specu-la-tize:
Sean Hannity: “We are here with Fox contributor and proud American Lynette Boggs. Lynette, you have been indicted on, what, four felony counts of perjury and filing false documents? That right?”
Lynette Boggs: “Unfortunately, you are right.”
Hannity: “Now, four – that’s a pretty small number, right?”
Boggs: “Yes, if you were to view this infinitesimally, it is a small number. In relation to infinity, for example, it is quite small, yes.”
Hannity: “So, four -- small. Now, felonies. That’s a strong word, felonies. You think you might have robbed or murdered someone. Those are felonies, right?”
Boggs: “They are serious felonies, yes.”
Hannity: “And I just want to get this out there: You have NOT murdered someone, right?”
Boggs: “That’s right. Nor have I robbed someone.”
Hannity: “I cannot stress this strongly enough: Lynette Boggs has not murdered someone, nor has she robbed someone. That goes for vehicular manslaughter, too, right? No situations where you have, for example, plowed into a playground full of children.”
Boggs: “No vehicular manslaughter or related incidents from this former County Commissioner and beauty queen, no sir!”
Alan Colmes: “Lynette, this is Alan Colmes …”
Boggs: “Name again?”
Colmes: “Alan …”
Hannity: “Lynette, let’s get beyond the legal mumbo-jumbo, because I’m sure our viewers are not concerned with legal technicalities here. What about the left-wing conspiracy that, for more than a year, has been out to get you?”
Boggs: “They got me.”
Hannity: “Why have they – and by ‘they,’ I mean Liberals, many of whom of course are in this country illegally and taking American jobs while raising our taxes and not supporting our troops and emboldening the enemy -- been so aggressive in destroying your career?”
Boggs: “Maybe because I fought against a pay raise for Metro officers, and at the time I was a board member for Station Casinos, which is a non-union company.”
Colmes: “Let’s talk about the unions …”
Hannity: “Oh, that’s relevant, Alan. Lynette, Station – that’s a gaming company, right?”
Boggs: “It is a substantial gaming company, yes.”
Hannity: “You’re not a gambler, right?”
Boggs: “Not in the traditional sense, no.”
Hannity: “But even though you have ties to Station Casinos, you’re not addicted to gambling, right? You’re not in any personal debt, you don’t owe one of those paycheck loan places a bunch of money or anything like that, right?”
Boggs: “I don’t have any gambling debts, no.”
Hannity: “Now this is important, because there might be some problems with perception here: You are not a compulsive gambler who is in any serious debt.”
Boggs: “That’s right.”
Hannity: “And you would swear to that, under oath?”
Boggs: “Bring me the bible.”
Colmes: “Lynette, Alan Colmes here …”
Boggs: “Do I know you?”
Hannity: “Lynette, you consider yourself a good individual, a true Christian, a God-fearing person, is that right?”
Boggs: “I do have the fear yes.”
Hannity: “Of God?”
Boggs: “Oh yes.”
Hannity: “Anything else?”
Boggs: “Oh … surveillance, I guess.”
Hannity: “Well stated, Lynette. I am sure we have not seen the last of you.”
**
PL8 in my head: WRAPITUP on a gold Honda Accord, California plates. Fabulous Thunderbirds fan?
Fabulous Las Vegas appears at this Web site. John Katsilometes can be reached at 990-7720, 812-9812 or at [email protected]